Healing Through A Miscarriage

I’ve noticed there’s not a lot of discussion on miscarriages, none the less about helping one heal and cope with the loss. I recently went through a (eight week)pregnancy that I lost. It left me reeling for the past two months and I’ve only recently started feeling like myself again. Recovering from a miscarriage—both physically and emotionally—takes time and patience. I’m writing this in hopes that’ll it reach some women who went through a loss as well. While my approach to (emotional)healing is mostly based in my witchcraft it’s important to talk to a medical professional about the physical AND emotional healing you may need post-miscarriage.

Understandably, you may feel a range of emotions: sad and disheartened over the loss, angry and resentful that this happened, possibly withdrawn from your loved ones. You may cry a lot, or you may not cry at all. These are all among the many natural, healthy responses to a pregnancy loss. Remember: Your reaction is what’s normal for you.

It’s hard to always know why this happened. You may be feeling in the dark, you don’t know what to expect, and how you approach this situation can make the healing even more difficult. Keeping your partner(or a loved one who can offer you support) and health care practitioner in the loop about how you’re feeling emotionally and physically can really help you through this time.

Deity Work
*This is mostly relevant if you’re comfortable working with deity(s).* During/after my miscarriage I felt extremely disconnected from my patron deities, my craft, and myself. I felt directionless and full of overwhelming feelings I couldn’t process. It is completely valid if you feel this way and you’re valid if you don’t. I was struggling to find a way to embrace the truth of the loss. Hel was the first to reach out and offer me comfort – I would highly suggest to anyone going through loss in general. I read a short story(UPG) a few years back that gave Hel the role of being the patron deity to babies lost in the womb. She would offer them comfort and warmth – I’ve held onto that theory all these years and she proved to be so incredibly gentle and comforting through all of this. Sigyn was the second I reached out to. She lost her son and understands the weight of loss and guilt more than any of the deities, in my opinion. She was a pillar to share loss with and to also give me strength to keep working on healing and moving forward each day.
While the Norse pantheon is what I’m mostly informed on I had a few friends suggest reaching out to Brigid, Hades, Artemis, her brother, and Frigg are all good suggestions. I’m sure there are many other gods or even saints, that would be wonderful to reach out too if you do the research! **If anyone has suggestions I’ll happily add them to the post**

Crystals
Crystals can be used in a variety of ways. You can place it on an altar or in a room to help promote a certain intention or healing. You can wear them as jewelry so you can always have it on you, carry some in your purse, put it under your pillow, whatever you want or need to – do it. These are some of the stones I found particularly helpful while healing the past month.

• Apache Tears – absorbs grief and releases negative feelings, lifting the spirit, emotional cleansing, and grounding.
• Phosphosiderite – strengths and promotes healing, balancing energy, helps one understand their path or find direction, divine communication, calming.
• Snowflake Obsidian – brings balance to body, mind and spirit, attunement to spiritual guidance, removes negativity from a space or person, helps to draw emotions to the surface and to examine harmful thought patterns.
• Rose Quartz – warm, comforting energy, emotional healing, release of stress, uniting with the divine(and yourself), love, gentleness.
• Lepidolite – emotional healing and balance, release of trauma, purification, serenity, relaxation, stress relief.
• Rhodochorsite- compassion, self-love, recovery from loss, emotional healing.
• Malachite – healing of the heart, confidence, protection, absorbs energies and brings emotions to the surface, cleansing.
• Angelite – gentle self-expression, expanded awareness, divine communication, serenity, lending light during difficult times.
• Charoite – revealing one’s path, purging inner negativity and resentment, protection, healing, removing emotional blockages
• Blue Kyanite – empathy, repairing inner-bridges, connecting with nature, gently moves energy and blockages, balance.

Herbs
These are herbs I used specifically only in magic and tea baths. You should do research on side effects and drug interactions before ingesting any of the herbs mentioned.

• Chamomile – used for uterine pain, aids in sleep and relaxation, tranquility, and purification.
• Lavender – helps your mind and body relax, has anti-septic and anti-inflammatory properties, soothes headaches and sore muscles, promotes cleansing and purifying,
• Birch – rebirth, renewal, great strength, it’s a tree tied to Frigg and I personally use for grief and healing.
• Rose – honestly the smell of roses just really helps my anxiety but it does have ties to helping the body and mind relax, is very soothing, and good for finding love withing yourself
• Honey – antiseptic and anti-bacterial(wonderful for helping clean out the rest of the lining left in the uterus would really suggest using it in a bath), combats infections and wounds. Honey was sacred to the Norse so it was nice including it to feel closer to the gods as well.
• Black cohosh – strong anti-inflammatory herb that helps promote healthy blood flow to the pelvic area and relaxes the uterus. It made a very wonderful bath and was super soothing for the after cramps. If you are on blood thinners or have low-iron levels I would advice against using it.
• Yarrow – promotes emotional healing, purges on of their aches and pains(emotional and physical), enhanced intuition,.

Additional Advice

• Create a small altar to honor the child lost or to help your healing process.
• Set realistic goals for yourself.  For example, focus on coping throughout each day rather than the entire week.
• Write your feelings out. Keep a journal, write to your little one, write poetry, do whatever you need to.
• You could wear a small piece of jewelry to honor your baby. You could even get a tattoo, a dear friend of mine did and it’s lovely!
• Plant a tree/cacti/succulent/whatever you want to honor your baby.
• If you know the due date, you can celebrate them or do something small for them when the date comes.
• Get a teddybear. Mollybears is an organization that creates custom teddybears in the weight of a stillborn baby.
• Remember that celebrating bits of joy doesn’t dishonor your loss.

If you’re having thoughts of self-harm or suicide please reach out to a doctor or your loved ones.

USA National Miscarriage Association Hotline: 01924 200799

National Suicide Prevention Line: 800-273-8255